what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
