is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
