just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
