I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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