I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
