I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize