That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
