Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
