Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
