in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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