I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
