You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
