Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
