I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
