i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
