I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
