I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
