you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
