5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
honey bunches of taint.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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