It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
