I forgot how hot balto sounded
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
