I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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