i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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