I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
