$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize