More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
