those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
