when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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