i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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