Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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