You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
