If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
