I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize