This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
