He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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