We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
