Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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