you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
