is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
