don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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