Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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