Please, let me fuck your mom
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
