Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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