it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
