Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
