I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
where am i from again
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
