ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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