Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
