1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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