Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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