he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
