you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
