All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
