Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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