Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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