real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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