you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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