Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
