ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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