Acid is not a monday night drug
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
