WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
