I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
