Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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