Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
