i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize