NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
