remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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