..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
