those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
