I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
