I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
